7 Toxic Self-Sabotaging traits
These toxic traits may be keeping you from achieving your goals in life
Going after what you want most in life is a wonderful, fun thing. Although, sometimes our toxic habits may unknowingly be getting in the way from us and achieving our goals. Here is a breakdown of 7 traits you might be holding on to – and ways for you to fix them!
1. Comparing yourself to others
This has got to be the most common traits that we all fall victim to.
We are constantly being told by social media or our friends or family that we need to be “better”. Whether that be financially, mentally, or physically.
Images and context are constantly being thrown at us left right and center. It’s hard not to compare to the next person.
My suggestion for a solution:
What is “better”? Better should not be defined by anyone else but ourselves. In reality, there will always be someone who is “better” than you. But guess what – you are the only one who can be the BEST at being YOU. I know that might sound cheesy to some, but it’s true.
You have to define what being “the best you” means. The only person you should be comparing yourself to – or holding yourself up against- is you. Because that’s the only person you can be. You have the power within yourself to become the best version of you.
2. Negative Thoughts vs Positive Affirmations
You know when you start to do something or you’re interested in pursuing things – and there’s that little voice in your head that starts speaking up? It’s time to squash it.
That little voice that hinders your spark is self-sabotage. It’s evil and mean and it’s only purpose is to hold you back when all you want is to push forward.
So what do you do?
My advice is to recognize when you hear that voice – see it for what it is – and rearrange it.
There are points when we don’t realize what it’s doing which as a result, it slips through the cracks and festers in your mind. You need to halt it as soon as you hear it and switch out the words for a positive thought.
For example,
I’m not good enough for this/ I could never succeed at this – switch that for – I’m ready to try my hardest and keep fighting to accomplish this goal, no matter what problem arises.
3. Listening to others' opinions of you
People can be incredibly toxic. That is not on you. I find that some people like to think that their opinion of you is the right opinion…. And I am here to tell you – that it is not.
The only opinion of you that matters – is the one that you create for yourself. How do you see yourself? Do you like yourself? How about personal development – how do you view yourself?
Those are the opinions that you need to take into consideration. Self reflection and constant self-growth is what tunes other opinions of you out.
Let’s say someone is trying to belittle you, or hold you back.
Knowing who you are comes in super handy in these instances because you know who you are – so their opinion holds little to no value.
4. Seeking after the wrong goal
This trait is very unique but very valid. Oftentimes, I find that we as human beings often chase after the “wrong goal”, as I like to put it.
For example, sometimes we might say “I really want to be rich one day” meanwhile, what we truly mean is, “I really want to be happy”.
Another example of this is when one might say, “I really want a boyfriend/girlfriend – a relationship”. Meanwhile, what they truly want is a “healthy, happy relationship between them and a partner”.
What chasing after the “wrong goal” could do – is result in you performing the wrong actions. Putting all your hopes and goals into toxic dreams while you can be putting that energy into a more positive reality.
5. Not giving yourself rest or not taking enough breaks
Productivity and consistency is key to success – this is very fair. BUT so is burn-out. When seeking after your goals, it’s important to give yourself some rest. Don’t Quit. Just, rest.
Take a step back from the digital world for a moment and check in with yourself.
How do I capitalize on resting time?
You can still take this time to be productive but in a good for your well-being sort of way. Practice your self-care.
Take the time when social detoxing to check in with what your mind, body and soul needs. You have to take time to recharge and re-centre yourself.
We are not all superheroes – we all need time to recharge.
As a result, when you do jump back into your goals, you will be feeling recharged and motivated!
6. Being stuck in your ways and not continuously looking to further educate yourself or inspire your inner self
You can never learn enough. If you have a passion – an interest or a love of any topic.. Explore it. Make it that one thing that you dive into whole heartedly. Become the expert in the thing that you love the most. Let it excite you and take over your mind. Let it fill you up with joy and inspire you to your core.
You could never learn – enough. Listen to podcasts about it. Read new books on different perspectives on it. There are so many outlooks – so many voices and experiences. It’s overwhelming at first, of course – but dive in!
7. You're scared of failing
Of course – the fear of trying and not succeeding is so terrifying.
It’s that thought that if you do strive for your goals – what if they don’t live up to your expectations? Or what if you can’t do it?
But.. what if you can?
This is a quote that really changed my view on things that I’d like to share with you today.
That’s right. It’s hard to hear but the reality is – the thing that you’re so scared of doing.. You’ve already failed at it. As long as you don’t try, you can never succeed.
Another quote that’s helped me push past this feeling is,
This is a writer’s quote that kicks my butt when faced with writer’s block, but I feel like it can apply to anything in your life.
Final Note
These toxic habits can be hidden or seen in plain sight. It’s easy to identify them but they can be a challenge to correct them.
My last words of wisdom is to challenge yourself to seek after what you want. Push past the doubt, and know that you can get through anything – if you want it badly enough.
Wow I love that quote about failing! Will definitely be using that – and I hadn’t realized how self-sabotaging I was being. Your post was so insightful, thank you for sharing! It was just what I needed to hear 🙂
Your blogging friend!
I am so happy that you connected with my words xo!! I know – truthfully, I believe that these kinds of traits slip below the radar! So sneaky!! lol
Very grateful – thank you so much, my friend xo!
Honestly I do all of these things and it definitely has an effect on me. I am going to take your advice and try to change that about myself. This was a really helpful article, thank you!
I am so happy that my advice could do that for you! I know you’ve got this – I believe in you!
I am so guilty of every one of these. A few at the same time too. I’m thankful that I’ve grown to become more positive and self aware of how I can sabotage my own happiness. Thanks for sharing this.
Oh, me too Kristen! But I can’t tell you enough how powerful it is to be aware and be actively trying to better yourself! I know you’ll be just great at creating the life you want and achieving the goals you set your mind to! You’ve got this!
Wow a few of these hit me a bit hard. I’m so great about all my goal setting… outside of fitness. I get frustrated so fast. I might have to evaluate a bit.
I totally understand that – fitness is truly one of those things that is always there and needs constant action. It can definitely get overwhelming so just know – you are 100% not alone! Thank you so much for reading today!
I think we all fall victim to these toxic habits, so thanks for sharing some solutions. Loved the two quotes you included in your post! xo Nipa
Thank you so much, Nipa! I am so happy I could connect with others! We’re in this together xo !
I often fall into the fear of failing and comparison to others and these reminders are so helpful to keep me on track. I’m going to take your advice on these to help! Thank you.
yes! me too!! Thank you so much and I’m hoping they’ll help! Thanks, again!!
I struggle the most with the fear of failure. These are some really helpful quotes to get past it!
Thank you so much, Shara! I am crossing my fingers that they’ll help!! Wishing you luck!
I definitely needed this today. So helpful. Thanks!
wow, I am so glad that I could help in any way! Thanks, Lolita!!
Wow, I hadn’t realized how many of these things I’ve been doing. Especially comparing my self to others. I will work on improving. Thanks for sharing this. Your tips are so helpful!
Nice! Very insightful! I appreciate these kind of posts. Oftentimes we’re standing in the way of our own accomplishments and we don’t even know it.
you’re exactly right, Nell! I agree completely! It comes down to you vs you! No one else can make the life you want to live. Thank you so much!
I have always had a problem with taking to heart people’s opinions of me, it’s debilitating. Happy with yourself is the key
Oh Pip, I can understand that feeling completely. I hope my words reach you and can connect and help with that feeling. You are so right – it all comes down to self-love. The only opinion of you that truly matters is your own.