Practice these powerful tips to dominate against your Social Anxiety
Following these tips have allowed me to experience situations I would have normally skipped due to my social anxiety. Follow along so they can help you too!
Summer time is here! For many, this means BBQs, get togethers, hangouts and many more fun things to do with your friends!
Unfortunately, if you’re like me, and suffer from social anxiety, this could be an uncomfortable time. It’s not that you dont want to – it’s that these negative thoughts in your mind grow until they overpower all the good and suddenly:
You’re thinking about how everyone is going to perceive you. Suddenly you’re thinking about how much they’re staring at you, or what they could possibly be thinking.
Not before long, thoughts turn into imagination which turns into feeling like your fears are reality.
Before you know it, *click*, you just bailed on the plans.
My experience
At the beginning of Isolation, hearing the words “stay inside your house” was not the worst rule I’ve ever been told. When dealing with social anxiety every single day – staying inside has become one of my most favourite things to do.
I’ve been dealing with anxiety since I was young – and even so, that fact could probably still shock a lot of people.
I’m often told that I am a very welcoming, warm, talkative person. Which is amazing to be thought of in such a way. Even so, I am really a very shy, timid, awkward, overthinking, individual.
I would love to sit here and blame the love with being alone on being an Introvert. Although, I know in my heart a lot of it is that I feel a great deal of anxiety when I interact with people.
It’s difficult when you suffer with social anxiety yet you also love people because you’re in a constant battle with yourself.
I had to learn (I’m still learning) how to combat my negative feelings with a change in mindset.
What is Social Anxiety?
Social anxiety comes in MANY different forms.
When it comes to social interactions, dealing with Social Anxiety can result in:
- Cancelling on your plans
- Leaving the event early
- Not talking / being shy
- Tucking yourself in the back and trying to remain unseen/heard
So, the question is – how do you overcome those burying feelings, push past those negative emotions out and succeed in act of social interaction?
I will take you through the tips and steps that I’ve learned throughout the years that have helped me so I can help you too.
Where is the anxiety stemming from?
We have to identify why your self esteem is hitting a low and really think about what use those insecurities are providing you.
Ultimately, when you get into your head and start feeling anxious – In comes the flooding thoughts of self doubt, insecurities, negative thoughts. It’s an ambush and in order to get in under control, you need Identify what those thoughts are so you can then flip the narrative.
What are your fears? Think about what you’re worried about. Say it out loud or write it down. You need to get it out of your head so you can see it and pick apart in order for you to change it.
I talk more about destroying your self doubt in my article here.
What can you do - right now - or every day - to make you feel better about yourself
Overcoming self esteem issues is a day by day process. You have to work at it a little bit every single day. I’ve found that one great way is to do something that may make you feel better about yourself before going into the interaction.
This could mean :
* Doing your makeup how you like it
* Wearing your favourite outfit
* Exercising the morning of
* Eating a yummy, healthy breakfast
Overall having a great start to your day could put you in a great mood to conquer anything you want to do
Turn on some happy tunes, get your blood flowing with some exercise, drink some water and get yourself in a great mood.
I have some more great advice on How to start your morning off right in my article here.
Fill your thoughts with empowering words
Instead of “what if they don’t like me?” or “what if I say something stupid?”
Switch those thoughts out for thoughts like “What if this is going to be the BEST time?” or “I’m so excited – this will be so much fun!”
Focus on making the expectations in your head to be something great.
Some might think, you don’t want your expectations to be “too high” but the reality is that right now your expectations in yourself are too LOW. You have to switch your mindset or else you cannot accomplish anything.
I go more into the power of your words in my article Destroying your self doubt and achieving your goals.
"If they didn't want to - they wouldn't have"
Remember these words and repeat them whenever you get too far into your head.
It is not up to you to fill the silence
Sometimes silence can be deafening and I know that it’s easy to assume that and jump to the conclusion that you HAVE to be the one to fill in the gap but this just surges anxiousness. It’s best to just know that it’s not on you and someone will fill it.
If you don’t have anything to contribute in that moment – that’s okay. It is not your responsibility and silence is natural.
Breathe
Having social anxiety is tough. REALLY tough and it is so amazing of you for taking those leaps every now and then to push yourself to new limits. You’re doing great. You are here, trying, and that in itself is wonderful.
Final Thoughts
Take a moment to look at how far you’ve already overcome. Taking steps to push against social anxiety is scary and nerve racking but you’ve done it before and you’ll do it again. You can accomplish anything.
You are so strong and so very powerful. I believe you can do this.
This post was really helpful, I struggle with anxiety too. It’s almost like reprogramming your brain to become less anxious.
Thank you so much ! And I completely agree – it’s all about reprogramming your mind from negative thoughts to positive ! Life changing!
Beautiful post! Helpful to many who may be facing social anxiety. I also believe in the power of empowering words!
I appreciate that a lot ! Thank you ! Empowering words are so important!
Beautifully written! And I totally understand all of this as I have been through this phase asva child.
Thank you SO much Surabhi ! I can totally understand that!
Thank you so much for sharing. I too suffer with social anxiety and find it hard to take time for myself to relax and gather my thoughts.
Thank you so much, Hayley ! I agree 100%! It can be so hard to really re-centre myself so it’s important to learn what strategy is right for you!! I find taking a moment to reflect and listen to some calming music can really help!
Needful content. Keep creating content like this! Tons of love for you
Thank you so much, Turno ! Lots of love to you, as well !
These tips are really helpful for those who have to deal with anxiety. I had a few episodes and even depression in the past, but I try to keep myself busy and motivated and I think it works.
Thank you so much, Maria – I am so happy that you learned strategies to help cope. With mental illness, it’s hard because it’s never truly “gone” but learning how to act during episodes are so so important! It’s all about how you cope ! I’m so happy that you’ve found something that works !
Thank you for this! I have social anxiety and can relate to all the things here. But it’s true, a small step is still progress! I just have to keep trying!
Thanks Bea ! And yes, you are so so right ! It’s all about little steps every single day to get your mind in the right mindset. You’re awesome – I know you can do it!
I love the it’s not up to you to fill the silence. I am often riddled with anxiety that leads to panic attacks because of this thought!
Thank you for sharing this!
LJ xoxo
YES ! This tip was life changing for me because I use to talk myself into attacks TOO – all the time!! Yes, it’s so important to remind yourself that conversations are a two way street! It’s not all up to you and it’s OKAY to take a beat, sometimes !
I don’t have that much of social anxiety but I do get anxiety sometimes, so this will also help with that.
Aww, that’s great Jessica ! I’m happy that my tips can help with some of those anxious feelings !!
Very much needed today! Thank you for this.
Thank YOU so much for reading, Ashlee !! I’m happy it could help !
thanks a lot for this! i’ve suffered from anxiety even before COVID and definitely a lot more now. i agree that things such as music, exercise and meditation come such a long way in altering our mood. My anxiety actually comes mostly from my own household as my family isn’t in the best of shape. I’d escape this through going to school and hanging out with friends but with the pandemic, i’m stuck with them 24/7. It brought us closer tho which is a silver lining, now i’m so grateful that i still have them and cherish them even more.
Wow, Migo – I can definitely relate. I can’t imagine, those times where you feel like getting out and away to be the relief and then when COVID hit – needing to stay inside with what was making you stressed in the first place could definitely be overwhelming ! I’m happy that you were able to find the silver lining and I hope that as things ease up, you can take things away from this experience. I love that, “cherish them even more”. That’s super special ! Thanks for the reply, Migo !!
Love this! Social anxiety is something I’ve dealt with my whole life and it’s so hard to overcome! These are great tips! Thanks for sharing!
Thank you so much ! I totally can relate – but I’m happy that these tips are helpful!!
Thank you for this! My good friend has social anxiety and I feel like this makes me understand it more! I will share with her!! Great post.
Thank YOU so much ! I’m so glad ! xo
I have become more anxious because of the pandemic. Crowds are not my thing, so just breathing and staying calm is the only thing that helps. Great post (:
Erika Marie | https://imerikamarie.com
Oh, i completely understand. This pandemic has definitely amplified my anxiety a lot but you’re right – taking the time to recenter yourself is so important. Breathe and focus.
Thank you so much!
As a person who struggles with social anxiety, these tips really helped me. When I wake up in the morning, I always come up with at least one goal to attempt to have a great start to my day for motivation. This helps to make most of my mornings positive to boost my self-esteem and self-love, and overcome all of my struggles even when I am anxious about doing it. I also have been filling my thoughts with more empowering words too to help my self-esteem. I also have been filling my thoughts with more empowering words. I have a positive affirmations calendar so every morning, I read one affirmation and think of how it relates to my life. These things definitely have helped my self-esteem and other struggles, especially after many negative life events I have experienced.
That’s so powerful and that really means a lot to me. WOW – those tips are really really amazing and I can see how much they would help! Goal setting REALLY helps with self esteem and you’re so right, affirmations are super affective too! Thank you so much for this comment ! Wonderful!
Ive struggles with anxiety since I was a teenager. It definitely stemmed from low self esteem, and being so self conscious. At 32, I still find myself so nervous to spark a conversation with others out of fear of being judged or rejected. I believe I’ll get better, but it just takes time ✨?
I understand Amber, and I am glad that you work at it every day. It definitely takes a lot of time and is NOT one of those ‘happens overnight’ types of things. But it’s so important to try and combat it a little b it every day. Thank you for sharing with me, Amber !
This is really helpful. I am very anxious in social situations, and i guess a lot of it is just reminding yourself that you are great and valuable and strong and beautiful, and not a waste of anhyone’s time.
I love that, Tanvi! “You are great, valuable, strong, beautiful, and not a waste of anyones time”. Powerful, very much needed words!
This is so much needed! Thanks for this.
Thank YOU so much, Linda ! I am happy my words can help !
I’ve struggled with anxiety my entire life and it’s awful. Summer, while so lovely, can be such a difficult time with so much social activity going on. I really appreciate this post. It will help so many.
YES, Natasha. Summer time, as much as it’s my favourite season, is the time to really get together with people and come out of the cave. But it can be hard so it’s good to know some helpful tips ! Thank you so so much! I hope so!
This is such a good post. Overcoming social anxiety is so important and so many people suffer from it.
Thank you so much, Mariam! I appreciate that A LOT!
Firstly I just wanted to say your page is beautiful. Secondly, this post is really helpful! I’m been struggling with preparing for life after lockdown and socially how I am going to cope. This post will def help me out
yaaay, thank you SO much! That actually means a lot to me aha!
Yes – I totally relate. I feel like this pandemic really set out a wave of anxiousness and it’s a lot to deal with. I am so happy that you came across my blog today – and I really do hope that it can help ! Thanks so much, Kylie!
Powerful messages. I always think what would people think of me if I do this and that, that’s something that’s been holding me back from having live sessions. Thanks for sharing your experience!
It’s so true, and I can totally understand. Our inner voice is so loud sometimes so it’s so important to check in and really invest time into making sure that it’s positive and on the right track! Thank YOU so much – I hope my words could help!
Get post, as I get older I’m getting more anxious and I try to just breathe. I’m definitely a work in progress
Breathing 100% works, A LOT! Thank you so much! xo
Thank you for this post! I have social anxiety and I loved the tip about starting the day off right!
Having a positive self image is crucial to one’s wellbeing. Positive reinforcement and affirming oneself each and everyday is important. Thanks for sharing
I agree 100%! You’re right – self esteem and re affirming your inner talk is SO important. Thank you for commenting!
Lovely way to put it!
I appreciate that so much!
Such a great read, I have met a lot of bloggers that fall into this category, which is why I think we as a collective get into the field. You can be social online but not experience all the anxiety of interpersonal interactions. Ironically, I have found myself going the other direction, which is I still love personal interactions but find the online stories, to be a cause of my anxiety since I can read people’s reactions in person, but my mind reels about the viewers that are watching and re watching and carrying judgement from there homes that I can not see. I have to just turn all of that off in my mind.
wow – I never even thought of that! Such an interesting perspective!
I can definitely see how comfortable as a blogger, being inside and keeping to yourself can be comforting – and then when faced with face to face interactions – it’s almost like we forget how not to assume the worst. It’s so interesting! I’m still getting use to it all!
I hope you can find certain ways that work for you to turn it all off, too!
These tips are going to help me so much thank you! My social anxiety is so bad I don’t even leave my house anymore. I can’t wait to go out and try to not let my anxiety control me
Oh Taylor, I understand! It can get so so bad, sometimes. I’m happy that you’re willing to try to fight against it! I think that’s the first and most important step. I’ve learned that sometimes – we just have to push ourselves! Push the limits! Often we surprise ourselves on what we can accomplish and get done.
I found these tips very useful. I appreciate for that…
I appreciate you so much for reading and saying that! Very thankful, M.Irfan!
This is such a great post explaining social anxiety. I feel like so many people don’t understand it, so it’s nice to see posts making it feel more mainstream.
I appreciate that so much Ashley. I agree so much! I felt as though not many people understood the severity that I can be.. I know that in my personal life, I am close to the only one in my immediate circle that suffers from it so It can definitely feel lonely! But it’s so great to be able to talk about this and connect with others that feel the same way. Thankful that you commented today!
Wow! Thank you for writing this I really needed it.
Of course! I appreciate that so much, Toby! I’m glad it could help!! 🙂
Thank you so so so much for sharing this! My social anxiety has been through the roof and reading these tips was so refreshing. I’ve been trying to challenge my thoughts and turn it into something positive but it is so difficult. The one I love in particular is “If they didn’t want to – they wouldn’t have” bc it’s SO true! 🙂
wow, Allison – I appreciate this so so much! I am so glad these tips could help in any way! Honestly, It feels good to know that others go through the same thing! Changing your mindset can definitely be a task but as long as we work at it every day, it can and will get easier!
YES! I love that quote too! Thank you so much again xx much love!!